Sapna Vaid

Parenting has never been easy. However, today it's even more challenging as somewhere between preserving our traditions and adapting to technology, between guiding and letting go, many of us are left wondering if we are doing it the right way.

Modern Parenting-part 1

In today’s fast-paced and hyper-connected world, the challenge of parenting has grown far beyond teaching right from wrong and balancing love with discipline. We often look inward when things go wrong—we blame ourselves for not doing enough or blame our children for being too distracted, moody, or rebellious. But what we often overlook is the undeniable influence of the environment. We live in an environment of excessive digital noise, unrealistic academic expectations, societal pressures, and overwhelming distractions. We are no longer parenting alone. The world around us is silently co-parenting our children through algorithms, advertisements, social trends, and cultural comparisons.

Every time a child scrolls through Instagram watches a reel, or browses a YouTube video, he is absorbing messages, some obvious, many subliminal. They’re being told what to wear, how to look, what success means, and what’s considered ‘cool.’ It doesn’t stop there. Advertisements disguised as content, influencers glorifying unattainable lifestyles, and constant exposure to peer success stories create a pressure cooker of expectations.

Children learning martial arts

This world is shaping how our children see themselves, what they aspire to be, and how they interpret happiness.

Gone are the days when generational differences were limited to music or fashion. Today, the divide begins with a reel. A simple difference in digital taste can spark debates at the dinner table. From there, it grows to wider gaps—choices in education, lifestyle, and even values. Parents who once found comfort in tradition now find themselves navigating a maze of modern trends, often feeling outdated or unheard. It’s not just a generational gap—it’s a cultural chasm.

Moreover, parenting today feels like an invisible competition. It's no longer about what you do with your child but how it looks to others. Who throws better birthday parties? Whose child aces the most tests? Whose parenting method is being praised in school WhatsApp groups or mom blogs? There's an unspoken pressure to perform—to parent in a way that's presentable and ‘praiseworthy’ to society, rather than authentic and nurturing for the child.

And as if societal pressure wasn’t enough, environmental stressors add another layer of complexity. The lack of green spaces, rising pollution levels, safety concerns, and general urban stress are taking a toll on children’s physical health and mental well-being. With parks replaced by malls and play replaced by screens, the outdoors is no longer a playground but a hazard zone in many cities. Nature, which once served as a silent teacher and therapist, has become inaccessible to many families.

In response, children have found solace in gadgets. The digital world, with all its chaos, offers a comfort zone—a space where they can escape judgment, control their narrative, and feel entertained. But this constant screen time comes at a cost. Children are overconsuming content, much of which is irrelevant, age-inappropriate, or outright harmful. They are becoming information-rich but emotionally disconnected—both from their families and themselves.

Young school students with Prime Minister Narenrdra Modi

This digital overdose has fractured the most basic unit of comfort: the family. Conversations are replaced by texts, emotions by emojis, and meaningful eye contact is lost in the glow of a screen. Parents find themselves locked out of their children’s emotional world, unable to decode what they’re going through or what they truly need.

What makes it worse is the illusion of choices. Today’s children are overwhelmed with options—in careers, hobbies, friendships, lifestyles. While freedom of choice is empowering, too many choices can breed confusion causing decision fatigue. They begin to doubt themselves, constantly compare themselves with peers, and fear missing out on the “better” option. This paralysis by analysis is silently affecting their confidence and mental clarity.

So, what can parents do in this chaotic, co-parented world?

The first step is Empathy. Empathy, in other words, is to be a sensitive and active listener. Instead of instructing or saying things like ‘I told you to do so’, Parents can choose to say ‘But you could have done this’. Empathy is allowing another person a space where they can speak without being judged.

Do not offer suggestions or opinions unless they ask for them. And if they do, make it simple and clear. Parents should focus on the matter at hand and not on past actions and intentions. Empathy will strengthen the bond between parents and children faster than any other emotion.

Patience is the second key. Children today are not just dealing with academics or peer pressure; they are managing complex social narratives and emotional overload from a very young age. They need parents who can listen without fixing, who can hold space without offering immediate advice. They need room to express, explore, and even fail—without fear of judgment.

Most importantly, perhaps it’s time to focus not only on the children we are raising but also on the world we are handing over to them. Let’s parent the environment they live in. Let’s push for safer cities, greener spaces, and cleaner air. Let’s demand better regulation of digital content. Let’s teach our children not just how to survive in this world, but how to question it, shape it, and eventually lead it.

ALSO READ: Ghulam Nabi Tantray- a visionary educationist from Bandipora

In a world filled with noise, being a present and mindful parent is an act of quiet rebellion. Let’s choose that rebellion. Let’s parent with intention, not just to raise better children, but to create a better world—for them and with them.

To be continued...